.i just need a space.

Hye All..
Err i feel so awkward to write here after a long "vacation"..hurm..there were so much things that i want to update actually.But dun know how to sort it up in a right sequence..

Me??
Still like this..but now i'm prefer to let it go all the small  things..and just move forward with my own life

------->>>Pending>>>
~sigh~

I think i still do not have so much strength to write up all of it here...

Dear Heart:Just Smile and face the world...

new phase

Yup today is 10^th  August 2011..it’s Wednesday morning..today it’s my birthday…sorry because my blog haven’t update for a long time..There was something happened before..Which I have gone through all the pain all by myself..Before this I don’t have any strength to be here to write up all the things that happened just like before..Just like my routine before to update my blog..But now I think it’s time for me to move on and grow up..Leave all the past behind..like everybody said “every pain there is healing” .i hope my birthday today will start something good and worth it to my life..i admit that it’s really hard for me to be strong and start to walk again after u were fall deep down to the earth..and now I have to crawl again to be the real me..GOD please guide me to the right way..

Dear heart: even it’s just a piece of cake..it’s good enough than neither..yup I’m really appreciated it..i thought I was alone…but…

.LoVe iS PainFuLL.

..I lOve waLkiNg iN The raiN becaUse nO One knOw I'm cryiNg..

.love means sacrifice.

"Yang membuat kita sedih adalah..melihat orang yang kita sayangi, menyayangi orang lain..tapi yang lebih menyedihkan adalah..melihat orang yang kita sayangi pura2 menyayangi kita, hanya untuk buat kita tersenyum.."-ms H

.killing me softly.

...........................................
currently i'm at the airport....
waiting for my flite...........
why it's feel so hard for me to left.......
..............................................





dear heart:i really need you....


suddenly..
just a few minutes before boarding time...
one msg received....
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
could you juz leave me alone...
i dun have any intention with that matter anymore....
pls..
don't pretend like you dun knoe anything..

.Gonna Fly Away..

Yup tonite i will fly away..
Bring along my empty heart..
Hope for the miracle..
Pray it won’t fade away..

 i do believe  in faith..
but sumtimes i can only pretend that it never happened.
it's because that i only have one heart..
When it's gone..
i dun know where to find it back..


There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go..

Dear Heart:Can you survived if you lost everything that u have...???

p/s:Can i  pray for the miracle happen??

Getting worst

I never knew I can be hurt like this..

I’m so tired of feeling blue..

Oh GOD please..

What should I do…

I really don’t have the strength to face it..

my heart felt so empty..

i felt that i'm dying..

Dear Heart:Could you just let me go..and be sumone else..

.Cyber cafe.

Yup currently i'm surfing in a cyber cafe (cC) after a long time..As i remembered The last time i'm surfing in the cc when i was studied for my diploma which means 4 years ago..ahahaha..but the feeling was so different..
2006
-The screen monitor  was 15 inch and with bigger size,,but now only using a flat screen and more wider..hurm...dun know how to explain what was my feeling rite now..maybe like "jakun" :P

safe journey

Currentlt I'm at my uncle's house for their "kenduri doa selamat".my uncle's family are going to Mecca for "umrah".hope they will have a safe journey.then this evening I'll be going to shah alam.

‎.don't ever say NO when you actually meant YES!

morning guys!
huh i can't believe it that i wake up early in the morning even today is weekend ok!
but it's ok..i can get the fresh air at early in the morning..since my two cousins still dreaming on the bed it gives me a chance to write something here in peacefull..doesn't meant they so noisy or what..just that it makes me feel no ones see me..so that i can give 100% concentration to jot down something..why lately i'm so excited to make an entry for my blog??yup that's because of the miserable of me..which that i'm being so messy lately..so i needed some space to calm my self ..then i've calm my self here with write something that makes me forgot about what was happened to me lately..here i have my own opinion on 

how to deal with stress!

• express my feelings by writing in the blog
• listen to the music (only my own playlist song) everyone have their own favourit song rite?which sometimes the song have their own sentimental value..
• JUST EAT WHAT YOU WANT!yup most people i knew choose to eat when they feel so stress..including me ok..but it's depends on  what type of stress do you have..is it true?just ignore it if that got nothing to do with your case..
• hang out with your friends...because when you hangout with your friends you can talk, share your problems and then laughing together..HAHAHAHA..err mayb not like that kind of laughing..up to you guys1..AS LONG AS YOU ARE NOT STRESSS..but please don't stress with my writing's ok!.. :)
• Shopping!!!!YEAY..but how could you shopping if you dont have the money...arghhh that's what make i stressed also...ngeeee...so the solution is just buy what can you afford...huh!
• Driving...hurm but please don't drive in the traffic jamm ok!that just can give you a HELL!ahahaha
• finally don't ever say YES when you actually means NO!..means that if you don't really understand what have people just say "may i beg your pardon?"or "can you explain again"...then you go for it after you really understand it...
• .don't ever say NO when you actually meant YES!..it means that you actually want to marry sumone but because of certain issues you have to say NO!..then it kept hurting your heart..urghhhhhh..it's hard when talk about a serious relationship..so .FULLSTOP.

GOOD LUCK guys!

.jump into crocodile mouth.

huh what a day!
just came back from the office...
today's morning...i had move to another room but still in the same department actually..
but now i have to handle another system..OMG!..i thought after this i was free from a tiger mouth but what happened was totally different actually i had the wrong mouth to jump..now i already in the crocodile mouth..a big mouth maybe...oh my goodness..but it's better rather than i have to face it wif sumone i don't like it at all..didn't meant i hate that person i just don't like the way "that person" act,like over react..hahahaha..it's ok let's the time go with it..there's nothing to regret right?
owh let's me story about being a passenger or a co pilot of bus...actually a public transport..yeah i know there's no point which related to my story before..but let it be..i just want to share my experience to you my readers..
ok..when you have to be in the bus..which have so many peoples in it..and ofcourse you don't have another choice to use another bus..because that was the only bus which entered the area..and if you wait it's just wasting your time right..so u just entered the bus..no choice..and me myself always be a sticker bus in that pick hours..are you wondering why that i'm saying be a sticker?that's mean i have to pull myself to be as thin as possible and be in the small space usually the space allocated near the window or the emergency door..then tadaa "i'm a sticker for the bus"..and sometimes i have to be the co pilot for the bus..eventhough the bus only has one driver..bbut i have too..because i have to sit(stand up actually" at the very front of the bus..at the ticket machine..so tadaa i'm the copilot of the bus..Fuhh so many challengers that i have to face using the public transport..but what to do i have too..rather than being stuck in the damn traffic jamm..oh no..it's more like a disaster i guessed..

.he is smell!but the rock is cookin'..

What the hell with the entry title??let me giv u hell!..errr soryyy..an explanation actually what is wrong with the title...me is one of the people in the Malaysia who are using public transport..So this morning i had trough an experience which make me think of make this entry..ok let's the story begin..

As usual around 7.30 am i already at LRT PUTRA Station.
ting tong..
errr..the lrt was so crowded by the people...like hell..but what to do i just push my self in it...but i felt something weird from my nose....
urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
then when i look back i saw a man was hanging his hand to the "lrt holder"..then i got the answer where  the smell come from...
now i can make some "side effect" that u might be facing when using public transport..

LRT

• ofcourse you don't get to choose your environment like the smell just now..the crowded of people inside..
• .have to wait if the train system got some technical problem...then it will effect your attendance at the working place..because you already late come to office...
• but... sometimes you can use the train as a medium to find your soul mate..ngeeee..when they were many peoples ofcouse there was sumone who attract you to say that "wow he's so handsome or she's so beautiful"..then for those who are so daring they just make a first step by get to know them more..like may i have your phone number...errr
• what else??hurm you can see many kinds of fashion wearing by the passengers...then you automatically be the judges...or maybe you just take it as your role model to follow their fashion too...
• sometimes it can  be confusing,when your accidentally slept in the tain..because when you overslept you felt so nervous where am i now???OMG!...
• and maybe if you get on the wrong train, then you have to spend more money to catch the correct train..

match maker

this evening while my office mate having their lunch at my table they suddently make a conversation..actually i'm the youngest among them..so i called them "akak"..a conversation

sis A :"Do you still single?"

me:"errr..why?and if i do single what's wrong with it...?"

sis A : then gud to know because i want to introduced you to sis B brother in law...

me:"errr..what??"is it true?

sis A:Yup i'm so serious..because he is looking for a wife...

me : LOL

is it we still have a match maker in this kind of modern world nowadays?..OMG!...

if LOVE just as simple as we draw a money from ATM..key in your pin number and put the amount of money you want to draw, then just take it the balance receipt..maybe i could just say "Yes" i want to marry him..But what if you key in the wrong pin number??not for a first time..but sadly till the limitation access...still get it wrong...what is your feeling at that time??feel so loser right..and ofcourse you have to waste your time to get it back your atm card from the bank..so what's my point here actually??please do have your own saving money...urghhhh...LOVE is not something that you can just simply accept that into your life..LOVE actually something that is so hard to describe and explain...sometimes you yourself didn't know why you love sumone so much eventhough "he" or "she" always brake your heart..or maybe had lying on you for many times...but you just kept denied on it..because why??yup it's true because you do love them with all your heart..but please don't be a fool by LOVE....

Dear Heart:me also dun know what is actually can describe a "LOVE".till now i dun have the answer..

From da window

Thursday morning..There were many things played in my head when I was in da bus just now..when I look at the window, there’s something kept playing in my head..i kept thinking until when I must be like this..hurm..Then suddenly something was interrupting my playlist, it was because a phone call coming in..feel so weird why he called me at the early morning..then when I asked him why? he said nothing..???Then he just end up the phone call..blurr..

----------------------------------------------------

Office..

Big Boss : have you finished your work..

Me : ermmmm (clueless)

Big Boss : Ok then if I asked u to take over this blalalalala..u must handle it..because I want u..blalalala

Me: Ermmm

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Heart : I’m sick of it.

....
Got a BUZZ from my ym......errrrr.........

.let's make a child.

hah.is it?..suddenly i remembered the words..ngeee..it's happened 2 weeks ago when i was hangout with ms FSH.the words accidently spill out from our conversation.ahahaha..hurm she's actually coming back to KL for a few days...but seriously we dun have enough time to spent...hurm missed that moments..but what  should i do..it's all about time..actually me myself want  a vacation too…please..i really needed…when talked about vacation,I’m actually already booked a ticket to go back to my hometown.and guess what?my parents didn’t know about that..ngeeee..just want to make a big surprise for them..tadaaaaa I’m home…owh I miss them so much..

hehe motive i upload this picture??smile n smile...kept thinking that if i can stop the time...this picture taken when my friends and i were went to Rachan Waterfall serian,Sarawak

ok nite all..time to sleep..and as usual tomorrow i have to wake at early in the morning and then go to work..

 

.Hati KerinG.

Morning all..ok entri kali ni akan dibuat dlm bahasa melayu..dibuat ke ditulis yerk..belasah jewla..english pon tunggang langgang,malay pon 2 kali lima…aiyaaaakkkk…cam biassa oleh kerana hari ni hari rabu,ofcourse I’ve to come to office..arghhhh..borrrrrinnngggg….actually ms study dulu slalu terpk ble la nk bis study nie..xsbr nk keje…da bosan study la konon..stress ngn exam,notes everythingla…then when I finished my study..benda len plak yg jadi..ok da keje la kan..keje yg mmg bkaitan dgn field aku la kan..tapi kann……….tapi……….i’m so stress with the environment…wif da people who think that they are the best..and superb mayb…blalalalalla…did I care!me just being a “dry hearted” aka hati kering…lantakla kowang nk tunggang terbalik ke ape…but me just doing my job and sumbat my telinga wif my own play list…”feel so relief”…then when I think back…I wish that I still study..which I can laugh, hangout, playaround wif my friends even tomorrow have exam…ngeee…selambe badak je kan…but now..arghh..yup ofcourse I can still hangout wif my friends but ofcourse there were limitation of time to do that..besides I’m doing part time on the weekend..but actually I’m happy with that….atleast ilang sket stress ni…hurm..but I realized sometimes we have to move on…even we are not happy at all…I do admit that I shouldn’t regret on what happen today..

The things that I’ve missed so much…  

·         2 jam

·         Ting ting

·         Cheese bake rice

·         Limau mantak

·         Ok buss

·         Qky

Ok fine..She’s coming again..ok new job blalalalal…WHATTHEHELL!!!!are u talking about…arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..can you explain first…cam bagus jerk…….

fyi:i dun want to see ur face too!..blueekkkk

why so alone

...feel so depressed..

..but dun know why..

..but i feel like wanna eat a cheese cake..
...cheese oreo....
..i wanna screamed loudly..
..but i can't..
..if not i will be chasing away by my housemate..
..i guessed so...
..arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

dear heart:i wish i can be the pinball and strike by the bowling ball...

.silent treatment.episode 2.

 

i hate for being my self

seriously, i hate for who i am now..feels like a loser..stupid,idiot...arghhhh..pplease.everyday when i entered to my office felt like i'm really a dumb person...i dun know how to settled up my job...i dun know how to do programming..oh SUCK...i really hate that person..felt like i'm being a hypocrite when i talked to her...shiTT..all are fake!..can i just closed my eyes and forget it...and when i open my eyes i already at the island...oh GOD please i'm sick of it..i'm so tired and tension...i really hated for being hypocrite...seriously i'm totally LOST!

...end..

psycho part 2..
On last sunday,when i was sleeping in my room..suddenly i got a phone call at 5.52.AM ok!then there's no name caming up just a phone number..i wondering that maybe there was my neighborhood wanted me to reverse my car since my car was blocking sumone's car..but when i answered the call , she just asked me who am i?what??u are the one who calling me, than u are asking me for who i am?...than i asked her why??she said did u know sumone named ____________..then i asked again..and wondering why..but then she suddenly cried an said "sy rs mcm dperbodohkan"...whatttttt??????yes i know him..but i think our story was ended 5 years ago...she said , she found her Bf simcard in his car stated my number with something refer to his "another gf"........F***Ker..i already told him i got nothing to with our relationship beside just as friend...then the girls kept asking me..bla bla bla...nonsense..and what just can i do is laughing...yup it's true because i really dun have any feelings anymore to him...it's an old story between us..why he can't understand!!!!........arghhh...thanx for ruined my weekend...urghhhhhhhh.........

~A Bundle of Story~

oh Gosh..my blog seem so pity..no update,no colors..hurm..what a busy new episode...before that let me update my story in sequence....
1st on 25 of feb i officially quit from Amazon as a graphic designer...there were some pictures for my last day...so my friends ask me to go to ICT shah Alam as a farewell party..then we enter the snow house...OMG so cold...i had played some games in the snow house...so enjoyed, even we dun have so much time to spent..huhu..what to do because we already late when we arrived at the ICT..

-my space-

wif ms cz

with them at snow house..seriously so cold!

Then the next day i was went out to settle up my phone billing..but suddenly there were unknown person who just used my ic number to register a new account..arghhhh what a disaster..why must have the irresponsible person in the world!..so i have go to police station to make a police report to denied the case and to report it as a fraud case...So stressed!"for that unknown person, thanx for ruined my day!i believe that "Allah will be pay in cash to you someday for what have you done to me" huh!After settled up the report at the Maxis Center i went to Mid Valley with the 2 guys who are always "crazy".. :p

yeay i won the contest ;P

-me again-

Then on Sunday, i was followed my friend to Desa Water PArk...

Desa WaterPark is a family entertainment part that boasts of an exciting variety of water rides and slides. It also houses the longest Master Blaster in Asia the “Thunderbolt”. A place where you can enjoy the thrills and spills of the heart thumping adrenaline rush of the most fascinating water theme park . so join us and experience the fun.

Welcome to Desa Waterpark

from Google..

let's go bebeh...

superb..

so crowded..but i enjoyed the wave..

what a great day...

the rest i just let u all readers to make the conclusion..ngeeee
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday:just have a rest at home before i start my new work tomorrow..arghhh so scary...then at the evening i went to my my sis in law office then go back to Shah Alam..to my brother's house...

A new Day Has Come...

At 8.30am on 1st of mArch 2011 i registered my self at "Pusat Teknologi Maklumat, Universiti Malaya" as a new worker..Then i have to settled it down by myself because actually i had been here as a industrial Training Student..So, when i met the staff who had remembered me they were asking the same question "eh xabis praktikal lagi ke?bkn ari tu dah ke?"then i just smiled at them and explained...then they just laughed "patutla"...i'm not really nervous to the environment or the people here because some of them i already knew..but i'm nervous about my responsibility...OMG!let me do it with all the strength that i have...Then i was put in under Collaborative and Communicative Applications unit..
and the worse thing i have to do programming...hurm...everyday i felt want to go back home as soon as possible..i hope i can go through all this with a brave heart...But actually i'm so not satisfied with that person..how u can expect me to know all this thing in 10 minutes without any explanation?i know u are very superb..but please don't be so stingy..urghhhhh!..DAmn it...enough talking about the person...i'm sick of it...After 2 weeks i had some problem with my health..huhu..got mc also...i hope i can get well soon..and nothing worse will happened again...oopss even i already quit at my old company but sometimes in the weekend i'm still a part time graphic designer at the company...because the company still want me to help them..it's ok,besides i'm happy to do that...urghh so much things i want to update but sorry guys...i dun have enough time so i just simply do a synopsis for my whole story and mixed up all in one..is it ok?

..my last day..

wuwuwuwuwu...
Yup finally the day has come..and it would be my last day at Amazon as a Graphic Designer..huhu...Guys it's hard for me to leave you all...You're damn nice person...I swear i'll miss you guys...I missed every second that we had been together...Akak,Fina,Anne,Emi,Sizzie...OMG!..Thank GOD i've met you here..eventhough it's just for two months but it seems 2 years we had know each other...Thanx for everything..Sorry if i've ever hurt you guys..But seriously i really love you guys...You're made my day...and sometimes ruined my day to be "pendiam"..ngeeee...trust me i've tried so hard to be like that...

Akak:"benci akak laju2"..thanx for the sweetest present..so from now i'll dream about u... :*
Fina:"baby, please tk care of urself..dun noty2 ok... :Pehemmmmm
Anne:"i love ur bunting Design,keep it up....ahahahha...lebiu
emi:"i'm still merajok ok!..blueeekkk
Sizzie:"Misshhh ur rambut..wuwuwuwu..there's no one have the greatest hair like u....

Let me showed u my greatest sibling in the world..
p/s:just grab this pic from them...

Love u babe...(from http://sizziemaggot.blogspot.com/)

Amazon's Family...

errrrrrrrrr

Our last time
 

p/s:windu dadah, makan kenduri early in the morning n ngumpat time... :P

.me 100 percent negative..

hurm wondering why my entry subject like that...ngeee...hurm today is monday..so as usuall my offt day was on monday..so today i've to settle up everything.. because last nite my was "bebeling" at me...bla.bala..bla..because i didn't to anything for my new job requirement..then, i  wake up at the early morning uaroung 9.30 am..prepared my self..around 11 i already at Maju Junction to go to Pesuruhanjaya Sumpah..hurm settle..have a lunch at my favourite restaurant which is UKHUWAH...after that i realised there is a clinic near the restaurant..so i just gamble and having my meddical check up...the costing was RM 105..i think it's ok...so everything was settled and my urine test was NEGATIVE..!hahaha..but i still don't write my resignation letter..OMG...!lalalalalal

p/s:this picture got nothing to do with this entry :P

issues

Sometimes
I Feel like I’m going out of
My mind,

Boy the way you do me is a
damn crime,

But then you smile at me
and its all right,

With you there aint nothin' in between,

Every time that I walk out the door,
Tell myself I can't take it no more,

There’s a part of me won't let you go
Keep saying yes when my minds saying no,

Chorus:
Me and my heart we got issues,
Don’t know if I should hate you or miss you,
Damn, I wish that I could resist you,
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you.
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues.

Its so wrong, boy you leave me hangin' for so long,
You empty out my love until its all gone,
You change the words but still it's the same song,
I’m tired of the melody.

Change my number and throw out your clothes,
But my feelings for you, it still shows,
I keep building the walls round my heart,
But then I see you, and it all falls apart...

Chorus:
Me and my heart we got issues,
Don’t know if I should hate you or miss you,
Damn, I wish that I could resist you,
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you.
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues.

Why fight it, cant hide it
Truth is I think I like it,
Confusion, illusions
Still I don’t know which way to go….


Chorus: (x2)
Me and my heart we got issues,
Don’t know if I should hate you or miss you,
Damn, I wish that I could resist you,
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you.

Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues.

Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues,
We got issues, issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues

Me and my heart we got issues
Don’t know whether I should hate you or miss you.

::Dear Heart:Seriously i hate u!::

..today is Sunday..Fine!!..

Morning world...today is sunday..yup i'm still like usuall wake up in the early morning and prepared to go to work...arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!1..i hate weekend...why?because a lot of customer will come..and ofcourse my company will "tunggang terbalik"...out of control...but after this..weekend is the first thing i'll wait..hehehe...huh cannot wait to end this disaster episode...but i learned something preciously...which i couldn't bought it at any place...hurm....Like HELL!!!...

.....cannot wait to end up today...

...my life?........still messy....

.a new day has come.

..time goes by same as me..too many things happened..but didn't know how to settle it down...being as a graphic designer make me learned so many new things..but i cannot stand with the environment..seriously like a shit...!!but i love my new friends..they were so awesome...didn't know how to repay them back..Guys u light up my life...ngeee...hurm..but i'm so sorry if one day i have to leave u all...sorry for the late announced..actually me also didn't know how to deal with it..but life must goes on..i promise that i will not forget u guys...we still can "lepakking" together for dinner.. :)


-------------------
neway i'm so nervous for my new chapter in my life..i hope i can get  through with it....

-------------------

.:two is better than one:.

Having a great time with my family during the Chinese New Year Holiday at my hometown...

Having a great moments at Pantai Bukit Keluang

My Dearest Siblings

So after five days we have to go back to KL..OTW to KL we stopped for a while at Pantai Penarik.

I wish i was there forever

 

Having a short photoshoot 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------already in KL

Attended kak Nurul Engagement as a her photographer..actually a free lancer photographer... :P

with my office mate..

Part 2:With my dearest friends..they just came back from Sarawak...Love u Guys....

yup it's me

hangout

sakura

shooting

is it we a couple?

yup we are a couple of happy cousin..ngeee

:)

mish u guys

Time to leave Shah Alam and go back to KL..and guess what it's not actually my car...hahahaha..but ofcource that's my dreams car.